Welcome to Module #3 of the coaching program on
“Focus on Authenticity.”
In Module #2 you looked at what causes people to live inauthentic lives and even
explored some of the “You should's ” that may have influenced you.
When we feel inadequate or like we aren’t as good as others, we create a public
persona that we believe will help us “make it” in life. This persona is yet another thing
that gets in the way of us expressing who we really are.
We all have invented phony ways of being and acting in life as a means of surviving
and getting by. We’ve created a public persona to cover up what we don’t want
people to see, just like makeup hides a blemish. The problem with this is that it’s
difficult to be authentic when we are, at the same time, pretending to be someone we
are not.
In this module you will further explore the difference between your public persona and
your true character.
* * *
“Persona vs. Character”
It is helpful to keep in mind what being authentic looks like compared to the public
persona we project. The conceptual model on your worksheet illustrates the
difference:
In this model, ‘character’ is defined as the essence of who we are.
‘Persona’ is defined as the external personality we have created.
The circle on the left side represents those times when we let our ‘persona’ be
primary and our ‘character’ secondary.
The problem with this is that we restrict what can enter into us, or what can be
expressed by us. This inevitably leads to stagnation in our personal growth and
development.
It also means that we are spending more energy protecting ourselves from:
- External stressors
- Internal fears
- Perceived limitations
- Personal inadequacies
The circle on the right represents those times when we let our ‘character’ be primary
and our ‘persona’ be secondary.
When we allow our ‘character’ to be primary and our ‘persona’ to be secondary, we
allow more to enter into us, and more to be expressed by us.
This means we are spending more energy living from an authentic place of potential
and possibility. There’s nothing to protect, so everything contributes to personal
growth and development.”
* * *
Activity #2 - “The Mask I Wear”
It’s important that we identify our persona and see it for what it really is – a social mask.
Take the next several minutes to think and write about your public persona.
Having identified your social mask – your public persona – now take a look behind it and identify what it is hiding.
§ Note: Usually the thing we are hiding is something we feel is “bad” about ourselves and therefore something we don’t want others to know about.
After exploring what you may be hiding, reflect on the cost of not being able to be your true self.
§ Note: Usually the cost of hiding (and potentially losing) ourselves is much higher than the risk of showing others our true selves.
Having a persona is a survival technique. It’s what we want to be known as instead of who we really are in an effort to protect ourselves from criticism or rejection.
At its best, a persona can be the good impression we wish to present to others. At its worst, it can be mistaken for our true nature.
Sometimes we end up believing we are our persona, which makes it difficult, if not impossible, for us to be authentic.”
* * *
Acknowledging the existence of your public persona and then recognizing the truth it is trying to hide can be liberating, and give you permission to be more real.
The more you operate from your public persona, the more you train yourself to believe there is something wrong with you, and that you have to hide it from others.
Usually, you have to confront your public persona in a more authentic way, so that you can move beyond its limits and the insecurity it creates.
As you become more aware of your public persona and can recognize it, without judgment, you can have compassion for yourself and begin to live, speak, and act more authentically.
