In today's world couples struggle to maintain successful love relationships that last. Statistics have shown that in the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. Many couples are choosing to cohabit but still want a relationship that is stable and loving.
You may have unrealistic expectations of romance and long-term partnerships. You may have an idealized vision of the perfect relationship based on your dreams, ideas, and fantasies. The media often inspire fantasy ideas about marriage. When a marriage begins to lose its "glow" and reality sets in, many couples break up rather than trying to make it a viable relationship.
So, here are seven tips to divorce-proof your marriage:
1. Understand that relationships go through different stages
The initial "falling in love" phase is an exciting and amazing stage of a relationship, but it is important to know that this is only a stage. It is not likely to last. Many couples do not make an effort to grow when they encounter the 'power struggle,' the second stage. Those who grow through this stage can then move into a deeper, more mature love.
2. Mindset: Growth or F[xed?
Do you believe you and others can grow and change or do you say "That's just the way I am."? Knowing that you can learn from experience and adapt to new behaviors is crucial to a mature, loving relationship. It is advantageous when both partners have a 'growth' mindset.
3. Have effective communication skills
Communication is probably the number one issue that couples identify as a problem. It is important to express your needs and ask for what you want assertively. And, you need to listen to understand your partner. Without these skills, you will face obstacles in your relationship. Without open and honest communication, it's not possible to be truly intimate with each other. Communication skills can be learned if you have a 'growth mindset.'
4. Learn how to manage emotions and resolve conflict
When conflict is avoided or mismanaged, it can cause significant harm to a relationship. Relationships are primarily emotional. Emotions drive your behavior. Being able to identify a feeling, express it and ask for what you want and need is a skill that can be learned and is a sign of a maturity. When you are overwhelmed with emotion, you are likely to resort to avoiding or attacking your partner. Being motivated to listen to understand your partner and they you is the first step toward resolution of conflict. Once you understand each other, the aim is to create a win-win solution. A win-win is where both of you feel completely satisfied with the outcome.
5. Share values, goals and life vision
When you share values, a life vision and have similar goals, you'll be journeying together on the same path. Many couples split up because they have different life goals and their paths take them into different directions. They grow apart. Therefore, intentionally creating your relationship together by making conscious choices will enable your relationship to be more fulfilling.
6. Be appreciative
Feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influence how you feel about your partner and how committed you are to the relationship. Saying 'Thank you!. I appreciate you' is powerful.
7. Frequently share physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is an important part of a love relationship. The physical expression of affection and connection strengthens a relationship. The quality of a couple's intimate relationship supports relationship satisfaction.
By being educated and knowing what it takes to create long-term relationships, developing realistic expectations of what long-term commitment means, and putting in the effort required to make it work, you too can have a successful relationship for life.
In our coaching sessions, you will learn relationship skills that help you have open communication with your partner and provide a process for managing differences and resolving conflicts. These skills, then give you the necessary foundation for the long-term success of your love relationship.
If you want to improve your relationship or are worried that you might break up, then I invite to contact me today to find out how coaching might help you!