Just because you are in a marriage or a relationship doesn’t mean you are necessarily happy and satisfied.
Many of you thought when single if you could just find a partner you would be happy. Now that you have been in a relationship for a while, are you as happy as you expected?
Being aware of the stages of a relationship can be helpful in putting a relationship into perspective. When you first meet and get together, it can feel magical. But that magic frequently wears off some place between 3 months and two years. Then what do you do? Stay or leave? Many choose to leave as they think the relationship isn’t working.
If you already had the person move in with you or you made a marriage commitment then what? That doesn't stop some from separating or divorcing. But others struggle to make it work and continue to suffer unhappiness and uncertainty.
The second stage of a relationship is when you discover you and your partner have differences. Becoming aware of the differences between you and your partner can come as a shock.
You may discover things about your partner you don’t like. And an even bigger shock is realizing some things about yourself that you don’t like. A relationship tends to hold a mirror for us to see ourselves more clearly.
Viewing conflict as a chance for growth might be a stretch for you. But if you take the challenge, you will learn a lot about yourself.
What happens if you have a partner who is not willing to dialogue with you about your issues? What happens if your partner is not willing to be influenced?
Conflict occurs when your emotional needs are not met, and you don't have much hope of getting your needs met. You then have a real issue.
If you say what you feel and ask for what you want and need, does your partner respond? Or do they dismiss you?
Ask yourself if your partner willing to be influenced. This is an important question. It is tough to be in a relationship with someone who is not sensitive to your needs and feelings.
The third stage of mature love requires two mature adults who care about each other enough to be sensitive to what the other is feeling and needing.
Learning how to get through stage 2 effectively so as to move into the 3rd stage of mature love is the goal. It is at the second stage of a relationship the real work of self-discovery happens.
Are you willing to make an effort? Many are not.
And there are relationships that no matter how hard you try the other won't respond.
It's your decision whether to stay or go.
And if you choose to stay in the relationship, know there is work to do to make the relationship better or accept it as it is.