How do we stop Criticism?
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY:
Abusive behavior and talk are so much in the public eye during this election season.
What motivates any of us to criticize and attack another's character?
What drives people to do those behaviors?
Is it about having power over another?
Or is it the mindset of 'if I can demean you then I look better?
What are your values regarding how you treat another person?
As Rodney King said "Why can't we all just get along?" reflects my values.
I value harmony in relationships, and I want to create a win-win experience.
I don't value a relationship where one wins while the other loses in personal relationships.
Obviously, in an election one will win the other loose the election.
Isn't it possible that we can disagree on issues without demeaning another's worth?
Maybe by listening deeply to each other, we can gain a new perspective.
Criticism and character assignation are not healthy behaviors.
They are not rational but emotional.
They are mean and cruel not kind.
What are your values?
What do you want to teach and role model for your children?
Some say they value 'straight talk' but what if what is being said isn't healthy, not kind but mean?
Do you recognize the difference when it occurs?
Many who are angry with their life and want change seem to be attracted to the candidate who expresses the most anger.
Do you recognize projection when it occurs? Projection is when what one person is saying about another appears to be truer for them than the person they are talking about. For example, what Peter says about Paul is truer for Peter than Paul.
Being able to discern what is healthy from unhealthy is crucial for a healthy relationship and a healthy nation.
Not accepting or tolerating unhealthy mistreatment of anyone is what stops it.
Love yourself enough to say no to those who mistreat you or anyone else.
Doing this is how we will stop it.
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Before coaching, I had a lot of fear and anxiety that kept me from doing things I knew I should do to get ahead. I was tired of being alone and not having a relationship. When I did go out with a guy, within the first few dates anxieties and behaviors that I thought I was past resurfaced. I felt like I couldn't control myself or my emotions. I felt terribly insecure and desperate. I thought I needed to settle for whoever would be with me even though they were not my ideal mate.
Finally, I said to myself “enough is enough”. I realized that I was never going to figure this out on my own. I also recognized that this wasn't something that was a medical necessity for which my health insurance would pay. A relationship coach was just what I needed.
I loved that no matter how crazy I sounded to myself my coach seemed always to understand what I was saying and feeling and made sense of it.
Since coaching, I have gained confidence in myself and am now married to a wonderful man. This increased confidence and communication skills have also showed up in my professional life, and I have increased my income 50%.
Thank you, Dr. Marian, for all the help you have given me.